Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
