Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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