Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
