D3 body, D1 cock
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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