he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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