who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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