dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
