so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
