Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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