I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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