WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
