ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
