I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
