Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
