I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
