I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I sprained my soul last night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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