so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
