HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
