I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
