So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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