There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
