he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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