My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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