shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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