I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize