glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
