ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
