we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
