Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
