Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
