If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
