if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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