i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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