i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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