Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
