just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
