I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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