K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
