super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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