i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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