u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
