I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
