if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
