I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
