I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
