i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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