i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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