dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
