Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
