What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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