I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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