You're so nebulous sometimes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
