Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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