Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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