DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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