Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
