Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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