i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize