I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
