so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
FUCK WHALES
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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