honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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