this beer tastes like vomit already
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
