i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
