dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
