Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
